Moving...Here's My New Address

I have decided to move my blog to: http://automatonjugate.wordpress.com/
If you would like to read it, then you might consider a new web adventure, and click that link to discover a world of random and boring thoughts. Otherwise, you might just get lucky and I will repost my blog here when I am not too busy...but just how lucky do you think you are? Maybe I should turn this blog into something different and unusual, like a place to post monkey images. But only monkeys which are doing cute things like wearing lettuce like a hat or something. What do you all think?

Automaton Jugate

I have decided to explain why I use the name Automaton Jugate. This is for those of you out there who have the ability to stay awake while reading my explanation about something which probably doesn’t even matter.

The most important thing to understand is that I like mechanical things like robots. An automaton is a complex machine that is able to perform independent of human intervention. It has been argued that the first automaton was built in the 18th century, but some believe the tales about medieval and ancient automatons. Here are two good sites about Automatons:
History of Automatons
What is an Automaton?

Anyway, another definition of automaton describes a human who acts cold and unfeeling, as if they were a robot. Now, I am not attempting to condone this type of behavior or describe myself in this way. I merely have a way of walking that often looks robotic to me. And sometimes when I look out at the world, I feel as if I am viewing a bunch of automatons. You can take that in whichever meaning you like, but I still like robots anyway.
Next - Jugate is an adjective that describes a coin, bust, pin, or other type of art that depicts two figures, usually with overlapping heads. They are most often shown as profiles, but they can also be facing forward and next to each other. A jugate can also be used to describe a plant with paired leaflets.

So basically, a jugate is used to describe something that is joined together in order to form pairs.
Here is an example of a jugate pin.
Here is an example of a jugate coin.

Anyway, I chose to use jugate because I really like the way the word rolls off of my tongue: joo-gayt. It reminds me of some kind of pink candy. It also reminds me of thick, black glasses for some odd reason…but maybe the candy thing was even more odd, eh? In any case, since I study ancient things, I have seen many jugate coins and have always really liked them. And I thought, what better way to depict my view of society than to make my automatons jugate? It reminds me of my trips to Italy.

So, that is the way I think. I think in pink candy and automatons. So, maybe automaton jugate describes me better than anything else. Now you should picture me walking like a robot with two heads.

Bugs in My Room and Blog Talk

It feels so nice outside tonight that I thought I would leave my window open. Sadly, now there are bugs in my room. I'm tired too. So, every time they hit my computer screen I just watch them. I try not to kill them...but what can I do with so many strange bugs in my room?

So, my literary criticism professor was discussing the implications of online publishing the other day. Someone like me can just write a million words about bugs and have an audience read my ramblings. It is really amazing to think about how many people have blogs now. Of course there are other methods of publication on the Internet now, but blogs have really changed our world. I have been publishing on the Internet for a long time now, and I often cringe at the things I have written in the past. What I find most amazing about my own blogging is that some people are entertained by it...but it seems that I am most entertained by it.

I used to write in my journal a great deal more when I didn't have a blog (never about bugs). So, why do I feel that it is appropriate to ramble on about bugs on a blog but not in my journal?

This is a mystery I feel no desire to solve.

Anyway, I am about to end one of my online classes and begin a new one. I have been having fun with them. Humans always seem more open to say things online that they would never say in person. And the really funny thing is that we are also more willing to "listen" to what others have to say online rather than in person too (provided they have scannable posts). So, I could just go on and on about bugs and someone out there would "hear" me. Whether that is beneficial to humanity is another one of those mysteries I feel no desire to solve.

Marriage and Mrs. Dalloway

If you could change anything about your past, what would it be? Do you have regrets or is everything a process through which you learn something? I have often thought that I would never change anything that I have ever experienced in life because these experiences have made me who I am today.

I tried marriage once. I lived in suburbia. I had a dog and fit in with the neighbors. I had enough money to live well. But something was always missing. Like Mrs. Dalloway, I thought about the past and those I had loved with that deep, young love. And I felt trapped.

So, I came back home to Oklahoma to accomplish those things that I had always wanted to do but had put off for that other life which was meant to be satisfying and comfortable, but wasn't. And now I feel like I am back on the path I am meant to walk.

I am so happy that women have that choice now, which they didn't have in some previous times (although there are places in the world today where women have very little freedom, rights, etc). No, things are not perfect for women yet, but at least we can attempt to fulfill our wishes and desires. We are not made crazy by being in the house all day or choosing the perfect gloves and flowers for our social events.

I just wish more women took advantage of their freedom and pushed it to the limits. We are not slaves (in most cases) anymore, but why do some women still willingly live as if they are? It always makes me sad to see women getting surgery and wearing clothing to fight for some man that isn't even worthy of their love. When will they learn to stand up and be everything they want to be? When will all women be able to marry for love and not even consider security because they are already secure in themselves and/or able to work in a field they feel benefits their lives?

Maybe Mrs. Dalloway shouldn't have married anyone at all. Maybe that is why the book is titled: Mrs. Dalloway and not Clarissa. Maybe we are meant to see that she is only defined by her marriage and nothing beyond that.

Don't get me wrong, I believe marriage can be a wonderful thing when it is truly beneficial to both people involved. But I am glad that some women today do choose (and are able to make the choice) to take a stand and say that they will not tolerate being mistreated in any way by anyone. It is nice to know that women can choose happiness and freedom when they want...I just wish they made that choice more often. Happiness does not come in the shape of a ring or the idea of what life "should" be, and it is not reliant on what other people can give us or do for us. Happiness can only come from inside ourselves. It does not depend on how many men think that you are "hot" or an "ideal" wife, but from what we think about ourselves.

SOC - Go on, ask me what that is!

Mrs. Dalloway, by Virginia Woolf is a work which has been written in the stream-of-consciousness (SOC) literary style. This is usually the style in which I write. So, while some people are wandering around the novel, lost in the darkness of someone else's mind, I am, as my fellow student, Bruce (see his blog to the right and below) stated, leaving mental breadcrumbs as I make my way through the work. I have often felt a connection with writers that use this style, though I never really noticed it until reading more about SOC.

I like the definition of the style on this page: Literary Terms
It makes me giggle. Probably because I know that my blog style is a bit of the rambling style...not SOC. But, most of my work really is SOC style. I promise. (Add a bit of a wink here). So, anyhoo, this page about Woolf also discusses SOC...so, you should visit it for more good information.

I feel like I had more of a point when I started this post than I do now. Now I am rambling again. Darn me and my rambling. So, I guess my main question about SOC is why does anyone care what anyone else thinks...but then, I would say to that: "Are you crazy???" I want to know everything that is really going on in everyone's minds, as it is coming to them. I find that so fascinating. I started my university career as a psychology major because of my interest in the human mind, but soon discovered that the dark ages of studying the minds of humans was not the place I could allow myself to be. Now, I study psychology in my free time, just as a hobby. Wow, am I boring or what?

But who isn't amazed by what humans can do with their minds? If we didn't care, no one would study music, art, literature, sociology, history, etc. Knowledge is the greatest gift I've ever known because we can always learn more and never know enough, but it always satisfies and brings enlightenment until the next page is turned.

Michael Furey is a Rainbow

I completed James Joyce's The Dead as I was sleepwalking through my day today. I don't know why I have been so tired lately. Whenever I feel sleepy like this I usually get sick, and all the while I am thinking that I have cancer or a brain tumor or something.

Seriously, I am not a hypochondriac or anything. I am just a glass half-empty kind of gal. But I guess you could even say that I see a glass of water and assume that it is even less empty than it really is.

What was I writing about again? Oh, right, Michael Furey from Joyce's short story. He's a rainbow. Okay, I know, you are all thinking that I am fighting crazy and about to dissolve into madness, but seriously, we all know people like Michael Furey; those people that we knew and loved when we were younger and didn't know any better. You know, the lovers we imagined that would love us forever because we didn't get to know about their dark pasts or bad habit of using our toothbrushes. In that time back before we learned that the glass was not half full but half empty. You know, way back when- in the good old days before nose hair and needing to work for money.

Anyway, the Michael Fureys of our world always disappeared or died before we were able to realize that they were just as snazzy as the rest of them (insert sarcastic smiley here). So, like that pretty rainbow that we only notice for a brief moment just after the rain, the Michael Fureys of the world will always remain beautiful, ideal, and the embodiment of unrealistic perfection. Like a rainbow, the Fureys give us hope that not all of the glasses will be half empty. Maybe there will be true love and everlasting beauty...or maybe I have pneumonia (insert winking smiley here).

Thank you RobotWisdom.com for the image of James Joyce!